Minimizing the good.

Because I have two teenagers, there tends to be moments of venting that seem to happen on a semi regular basis.  Just the dumping of frustrations in a monologue sort of way that aren’t always logical and often one sided.  I’ve learned that when these times occur, it’s best for me to just sit back and listen instead of trying to be ‘helpful’ by offering a differing perspective or my thoughts on the matter.

If I play it right, aka sitting there quietly yet engaged, the vent session ends and I’m left with a kid that comes back to themselves, takes a breath and is then able to give a little laugh and realize that the last five minutes of madness was pretty lopsided.  That they might have even amplified all their stress and frustrations and minimized any of the good in the situation.

Thank goodness they come back down to earth and realize this.

But it’s not just teens that do this. We, as grown ups, do it too.  Yes, during times of stress, especially in our relationships, we can look pretty ranty as we vent our frustrations full of always, nevers and every times.  

I don’t think we do it intentionally, but for better or worse, we can can really lose sight of any good or even a grounded perspective and instead take a deep dive into our frustrations.

Because life (and relationships) are almost never truly one sided, I think it’s an important reminder to make sure you’re not overlooking the good.  That even during times of frustration you can slow down enough to realize that rarely are things always, never and every time.

But instead be sure that you’re working to balance out expressing your concerns and needs with a more accurate and grounded perspective.

When in doubt, be sure you’re not amplifying the negative and minimizing the good.

Until next week,

-A

P.S. If you’re struggling in communication or can seem to find productive ways to discuss hard topics, now might be the time to enroll in the Communication Masterclass.  Follow this link to learn more and use code: FALLINTOEACHOTHER for $50 off enrollment; expires 11.30.25.