If you haven’t said it, it doesn’t count

Communication is messy.  Communication is clunky.  Communication can be brilliant and of course quite necessary.  It’s always a continual learning process.  But one thing communication can’t be is silent.

I’m a big believer that you can’t hold someone responsible for something unless you’ve told them.

All the venting to others and stewing on issues in hopes that the person will change is beyond futile if you haven’t addressed it with them.

I know it can be overwhelming or scary to have really hard and important conversations AND that doesn’t mean you simply don’t have them. It means you practice, map out a plan, come up with some key points and then you dive right in.

Being frustrated with each other or building cases in your head against one another does no good if you haven’t even started talking about it.  And I get it, they should know. It’s so obvious that what they’re doing is unkind, unfair or even hurtful, they must know they’re doing it.  And yet, the very clear response is, they don’t. If you haven’t communicated about it, you cannot hold them responsible for changing it.

Take the time to have the difficult conversation and work to release resentments around topics or situations that have not been discussed. You can’t expect change to happen when changes haven’t even been talked about.

Take the time to talk about it and see what progress can be made.

I’m cheering for you.

-A

P.S. If communication has you all sorts of twisted up, now is the time to enroll in the Communication Masterclass.  The perfect way to reset your communication foundation.