Good enough

My favorite law and ethics professor used to talk about making decisions based on what was safe, safer and safest. That when it comes to doing no harm and advocating for the clients you’re working with, you work to make the safest decisions…and if that option wasn’t available then you went with the safer decision…and if that also wasn’t available you went with the safe decision.  This sort of thinking and problem solving has stuck with me over the 21 years of being a therapist and my hope is that it’s guided me correctly.

And it’s advice that I think can be followed when it comes to your relationship, just with a twist.  Instead of safe, safer, safest…it’s more like good, better, best.

Because the truth is we all want the best relationship out there and hopefully to show up as the best versions of ourselves in love.  And yet, there are days when all you can do is show up as the good enough versions of yourself.  Maybe you’re exhausted or hurt or just running low on hope, so your best looks a little more like good enough.

Sure, you don’t want to sustain a relationship in the ‘good enough’ place, but you can be gentle when you find yourself in the good enough times.  You can talk about it with each other and see what you both need in order to spike back into better territory and with some work and effort get to the best version more often and more consistently.

Love is never going to be perfect, but the two of you can work hard to ensure that it’s moving from good, to better to best…together.

You got this.

-A

P.S. Have you been stuck in the ‘good enough’ place for too long in your relationship and are starting to lose hope? Did you know that couples often wait 7 years from when a therapy worthy issue occurs in their relationship to actually reach out for support?? Don’t let that be the two of you. Reply to this email so that we can chat further about how counseling may benefit you.  I got you!