Sunshine Doesn’t Solve Everything

I grew up in the foggy central coast and as soon as it was in my control, I moved away to hotter temps and more days of sunshine.  I prefer the hot and don’t have too many complaints when the heat starts to rise mid summer.  Yes, I wear all the sunscreen and keep a hat on most days spent in the sun…and I will still find any excuse to be outside soaking up the rays.  

I think that a sunny day solves most everything!

Except when it doesn’t.  When my little plants start to sag in the heat or the yellow spots in the lawn get wider and wider. Sometimes too much sun isn’t a good thing and we need a few clouds to roll in and even things out.

And the same is true in our relationships.  Sometimes too much of the good stuff actually keeps us from addressing the important stuff.  I hear quite often about couples not wanting to broach certain subjects because they don’t want to ‘rock the boat’ or ‘ruin a good day’. 

And I get that.  But at the same time..pushing off the hard stuff in order to enjoy the good sets us up for a crash.

Having hard conversations as a couple is actually best done during the good times.  When you’re feeling more refreshed and well rested, you usually have more bandwidth to pause and listen vs react with emotionality.

If you find yourself enjoying the sunshine a bit too much, don’t risk a sunburn and instead take a break in the shade…together…and see what sort of relationship maintenance you can get to.  Take the time to realize that ‘good’ times can exist in tandem with harder conversations.  And that you actually get more growth from having harder and better conversations on the regular.

You got this!

~ A