Growing Together

I got asked an interesting question in session the other day.  We were talking about growth and change and all the things that go into us as individuals and us as couples.  And the question posed was, are we supposed to grow as a couple or as individuals? 

First off, I loved the question because it created such a dynamic conversation and really helped create more than a few ah-ha’s in session.  

But what I think I appreciated most about the question was the simplicity in the answer and the difficulty in the execution.

For those of you following along, the answer is both.

You are supposed to grow as a couple AND individuals.  The health of your relationship is based on your ability to do your own work, be in charge of your own well being, deepen your personal awareness and apply those insights into action.

By doing your own work, it allows you to do the relationship work too.  It’s making sure you’re growing together not just side by side.

When you know who you are and are able to work on those raw edges, you then get the opportunity to also work on those areas in the context of your relationship.

Let’s say you tend to stuff your feelings and struggle to identify how you’re feeling and instead just react.  Your work would be to differentiate between what you feel, what you think and what you choose.  Your relationship work would be to voice these insights (thoughts and feelings) in your partnership and work to recalibrate that relationship dynamic.  

It’s both.  Working on self allows you to be able to grow together.  

Take the time to ensure that all aspects of the work are happening in your relationship.

You got this.

~ A