18 years in

My husband and I are celebrating our 18 year wedding anniversary today and it feels like it was just yesterday and also a lifetime ago…all at the same time. It’s amazing how much planning went into the actual wedding day and how little went into how exactly we were going to navigate a life together. Sure we had lots of dreaming conversations, but the actual doing part…well we’ve learned that along the way.

And for those that are just starting out, or have been at it together for many years, here are a few that I’ve learned in case it helps to relate or learn from each other.

~ My way isn’t the only way.  As stubborn as I am, it’s taken me many years to realize that my way of doing most things isn’t the only way they can be done.  Sometimes it’s easier to let go of the way it’s getting done and be more appreciative of the fact that it actually got done.

~ Saying sorry and meaning it, takes practice.  It’s easy to mumble an apology to smooth the waters, but saying it and meaning it takes work.  Knowing how you missed the mark and the impact on each other is the key to repair…and goes a lot farther than just I’m sorry.

~ Don’t be short on laughter.  My husband and I have survived a number of  lean times that made us wonder how we actually got through it.  I look back at pictures during those periods and still see us laughing, which I think was key to staying in sync when everything else was going sideways.

~ And lastly, be yourself.  I know at the end of the day, who I’m married to, because he shows up as himself every day and the same goes for me. I might be a little messy, opinionated and stubborn, but I wear my heart on my sleeve and always make room for one more. He isn’t the best multitasker and uses google sheets excessively but he loves his people big and puts me and our kids needs before his own.  And knowing he’s going to be him and I’m going to be me, sure helps me feel secure at the end of the day.

Cheers to those celebrating the freshness or the renewed lessons in love.

~ A