Four Seasons
Have you watched Four Seasons on Netflix yet? Well if you haven’t yet, it’s a good one with lots of dynamics unfolding for sure. Regardless if you’ve seen it yet, there is a scene in the sixth episode where Tina Fey and Will Forte’s characters both realize they really need to go to couples therapy and their response to this joint realization is fantastic. They have hit some snags, to say the least, over the course of the show and you get the drift that these issues have some history. I can’t remember which one of them quietly suggests they return to couples therapy and the other one calmly agrees and over the next few moments, as the reality soaks in, they both lose it. One screams EFFFFFF at the top of their lungs and the other one screams the same thing along with some other choice words and hand gesturing.
When the scene occurred, I literally laughed out loud because it’s so darn relatable. You have a couple that appears to love each other and yet they’re so out of sync and pushing each other away that it’s clear something needs to change. And at the same time, they’re equally brave and vulnerable enough to admit this to one another…and then reality sets in. It’s clear in their responses that actually deciding to go to therapy is going to be a heck of a lot of work. It’s going to require them to look at their own stuff, to make some changes and get with the program.
It's perfect writing and like I said, completely relatable. Because when you make the decision to start couples therapy IT IS vulnerable and brave. IT IS overwhelming and scary. It’s all of these and everything in between. And it’s also really necessary. Research states that the average couple waits around 3 years from when a therapy worthy issue occurs in their relationship before they actually reach out for support. That’s a long time to wait for relief….even if that relief takes work.
My biggest encouragement is to reach out for support sooner rather than later. Don’t wait for the divide to grow so large you’re worried it can’t be repaired before you make a call. Whether it’s starting therapy or taking a smaller step into reading a relationship book or listening to a relationship podcast together…take the step.
Don’t let the fear of the work you have to do prevent you from taking the first step.
You can do it!
-A
P.S. Simply reply to this email and I’ll send you all the books, podcasts and encouragement I can. Or even easier…follow this link to schedule a session. You got this.