Create the timing.

Let’s be honest, timing is vital, and yet finding the time to fit one more thing into your already full and hectic day is nearly impossible.  And as cynical as this may sound, it’s why I truly believe you have to create the timing AND create the time.

To be clear, timing and time are two different things.

Finding the time means shuffling, reprioritizing, or removing certain activities, tasks, or obligations in order to fit something into your day. This can be anything from grocery shopping, moving your body, or creating time to communicate with your mate.

But timing is a whole different animal. Timing is connected to the mood or mindset you’re in at any given moment and how that impacts your ability to respond to the request at hand.

Take for example racing out the door to take your kids to school and one of them mentions, for the first time, that they need some extra help with their homework that’s due in 20 minutes… BAD TIMING!

Or you’ve just sat down after a really long and stressful day and your partner wants to snuggle up and connect before you’ve even taken your first deep breath of the day… BAD TIMING!

Sounds pretty hopeless, right? Well not to worry, because you can actually create the timing.

Here’s how…

You can invite each other into deeper conversations, thus giving each other the ability to soften and lean in.

You can ask if now is a good time to tackle a harder conversation so that both of you are open to discussing and not in a place of defensiveness by being caught off guard.

You can create timing for connection, repair, and soothing.

Don’t wait for lightning to strike… create the timing for one another and I just know that good will come from it.

I’m cheering you on.

-A

P.S. If you’re struggling to create time for one another or seem to be ‘off’ in terms of your timing around harder conversations…reach out. I’m here to support you as the two of you get back in sync with one another.